The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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