Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
