I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
