I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
