my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
