his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
