I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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