Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
