Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
