I just cut my nipple shaving
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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