I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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