omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
