2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
All the doctor said was why
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
