I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
