You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Alive.
So much puke
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I am one with the molecules
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
