I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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