Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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