every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
