great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We left the knife in your bed.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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