Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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