At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Someone shit on the floor
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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