i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
