Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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