why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
