I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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