I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
