Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
