I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
How's work?
Spinning.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize