I met the friendliest cop last night
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Acid is not a monday night drug
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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