I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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