then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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