took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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