I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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