Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
