Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
