Your tits are I can't wait for
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Pants are for mortals
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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