Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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