Someone shit on the floor
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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