So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
