I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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