Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The air taste purple.
Randomize
