KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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