I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
