they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
