Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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