"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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