i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize