making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize