U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
