So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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