I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
