I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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