did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
