trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
