can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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