i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
