Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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