just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
