he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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