I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
